The past semester/year has been a blur, and when I say blur, I mean like actually not being able to remember anything in the past year. I don’t remember what classes I took last semester, which was only 4 months ago. I don’t remember what I did over winter break. Hell, I don’t even remember what I did last week. But as unsure as I am about the past, I’m way more uncertain about the future.
Everyday or sometimes three times a day, the G word is thrown at me, and I’m asked “What are you plans post G word?” I’m only able to say what I know, which is “I don’t know.” I’m being ambushed by a freaking terrifying thing called life, and all I think about now is where I’m going to be in a couple months. So much so that I don’t even know where I am now.
Only thinking about who I’m supposed to be by this summer hinders me from being who I am now. And only thinking about what I’m supposed to be doing after May 5 prevents me from doing what I should be doing now. I’m a student who hasn’t studied all semester. I’m a blogger who hasn’t posted in a month. I’m a Christian who missed church today. I’m an intern who didn’t turn in her work on time. That’s not okay.
It’s not okay to feel so caught up in the worries, the anxiety and the insecurities that the future holds that you can’t be present.
I G word in two weeks, and in these next two weeks, I will be present in every moment, in every place and in who I am. Hopefully, I’ll be able to check off my UGA bucket list and more importantly, I’ll be able to get my shit together.
Thanks for doing life with moi!